media garden 03. the female gaze: media about women, for women
a collection of the articles, books, films, video essays, and music I’ve consumed recently. this week with a focus on women!
Hi everyone!
This is the third installment of this series, where I post a collection of my favorite published articles, substack posts, books, movies, video essays, and music I’ve enjoyed the past week.
This weeks theme is women, girls, mothers, maidens, wives, damsels, and everything in between. From articles on how medieval women used their art to express themselves and subtly sway politics, to movies about the psychology of an obsessive female artist, this week was very women-centric. I hope you all enjoy!
articles
Why Gen X Women Are Having the Best Sex
“Returning to plentiful sex in my late 40s felt weirdly intuitive, like hearing an old favorite song and finding that of course I still knew all the words.”
Writer and culture critic Mireille Silcoff talks about her experiences as a 40-something year old navigating the world of sex after the end of her 20-year-long marriage. Entering the “dating” pool no longer hindered by the expectation to settle down or have children and armed with more knowledge of sex than she did in her 20’s, Silcoff (and many of her female friends) found a new empowerment in sex. These women’s (sex) lives didn’t end after their marriages did, in actuality, it felt like a new beginning of life for many of them.
I chose to be childfree, I didn’t think I was choosing isolation too
“There are whole communities formed among parents, robust with events and gatherings and friend groups that often don’t even involve their kids. There are the parent-friendly holiday parties that you only hear about after the fact.”
A look into what it really means to choose not to have children. Author Cassidy Randall explores how her life and her relationships with family and friends have changed since they began to have children. She discusses the isolation, the lack of community, and the feelings of growing apart. While empathetically understanding the different hardships they all bear with child-rearing and not child-rearing, Randall considers this loneliness and what it means to build community around parenthood.
My Life with Left-Handed Women
“In my family, left-handedness meant the omnipotence of motherhood—but also the burdens it could bring.”
A beautiful, introspective personal essay spanning years and generations. Professor and author Megan Marshall, who was, unfortunately, not gifted the all-knowingness of being left-handed, recounts her childhood filled with grandmothers, mothers, and daughters. Left-handedness is a tool wielded by the women in her life as Marshall muses on the matrilineal cycles of love that only a mother and daughter could have for each other.
Menopause was a French invention at a time of revolution
“The concept of menopause did not come from women themselves but rather from medical men for whom it served as a useful and generative case-example.”
Associate professor Alison Moore deconstructs the myths surrounding menopause and its “symptoms”. It describes how the use of menopause even came into fruition, the decidedly male view on the entire aging process of women, and how male French scholars obsession with pathologising women’s emotions led to the misconceptions we have of women’s aging today.
How Medieval Women Expressed Their Forbidden Emotions
“The women who wrote and created these works were bold and strident, angry and astute. And they were clever enough to find their own tools for claiming power in a culture determined to silence them.”
Professor Pragya Agarwal examines how medieval women, powerless in matters of state and church, wielded power through the only tools they had: their words and their art. Upper-class women of the time used seemingly innocent and flowery prose in their letters to exert subtle influence and used colors and symbols in embroidery to express the emotions they weren’t allowed to show the world. Their anger, their melancholy, their grief, all “weak” and “sinful” emotions they could only express through their writing and artwork.
substack posts
You Can Always Count on a Rapist for a Redundant Prose Style from Kitsch! Camp! Schmaltz! Schlock! by Candice Wuehle
The Scandal at Miss Hall's School, My Dark Vanessa, and the Eeriness of Shared Trauma
An interesting new perspective on the career-threatening plagiarism accusation made by Wendy C. Ortiz, author of Excavation, against My Dark Vanessa author Elizabeth Russell. It discusses how the “eerie” similarities between literature on women’s (or, more specifically, young girl’s) predatory and dangerous “relationships” with older men are not due to copying each others works, but, rather, that all of the men in these stories are mirror images of each other. From their exact verbiage, to the specific tactics used to silence their victims, these predators follow the same cycles to exploit young and vulnerable women.
Magic and Erotic Obsession in the Ancient World by Somniac
The gender connotations of love curses
This was such an interesting and informative read! It’s an analysis of “the politics of love and magic in the ancient world” and the exact construction of a love curse, which involved an erotic curse doll and an incantation. It discusses how gender differences of the time extended beyond simply a man and women’s place in society or the home, but were also relevant in the practice of magic. Through the specific language used in the incantations as well as the certain desires of the caster, its revealed how men aimed to strip women of their autonomy through these curses. “To these ends, one can question where the border between social constructs and arcane rite extends, or if there is one at all”.
books
Summer Will Show by Sylvia Townsend Warner
historical fiction, lesbian literature
Sophia Willoughby, an aristocratic woman of strong opinion and will, has packed her cheating husband off to Paris with his mistress. Sophia intends to continue her life committing herself to raising her two children; but tragedy strikes when both children die from illness. Suddenly faced with a lack of purpose, Sophie finds herself in Paris right in time for the 1848 revolution. After forming an unlikely friendship with her husband’s mistress, Sophia is led on wild adventures through bohemian and revolutionary Paris. A unique take on historical fiction, adventure, and love, we see a woman’s journey to find a new purpose in life beyond society’s expectations of her. (I also highly recommend Lolly Willowes, by the same author, it is one of my all-time favorite books)
4/5 stars
The Abandoners: On Mothers and Monsters by Begona Gomez Urzaiz
memoir, biography, cultural criticism
“What kind of mother abandons her child?” Well, certainly, a bad one, right? In this personal-essay-biography-autobiography, Gomez Urzaiz examines her fascination with women throughout history, pop culture, and literature who have abandoned their children. Faced with her own prejudice against these women, she aims to unearth exactly what led to the decisions of these mothers in an attempt to reveal what our judgements of them tell us about our judgement of all women. From Ingrid Bergman, to Anna Karenina, and Internet “momfluencers”, we examine what truly constitutes “a bad mother”.
3.5/5 stars
The Selected Poems of Anna Akhmatova
Russian poetry
An iconic Russian poet who faced repression from authorities for most of her life due to her outspokenness against her government, Anna Akhmatova is one of our world’s greatest modern poets. Though I’m currently reading her selected poems, I hope to eventually read a version of her complete poems, and I definitely urge all of you to do the same!
films
Under the Skin (2013) dir. Jonathan Glazer
“Do you want to look at me?”
Based on the 2000 novel of the same name, Under the Skin is part science-fiction, part thriller as it examines what it means to have empathy, to live, to be human. We follow The Female as she hunts the streets of Scotland in search of vulnerable male prey to feed her people. Relying less on dialogue and more on the glimpses of life we see behind The Female’s eyes, the film explores Scarlett Johansson’s character as she uses her femininity and the weakness of men to lure them to their deaths. Beautifully shot, frustratingly vague, and hauntingly poignant, I will admit the movie won’t be for everyone, but Glazer is one of my favorite directors and this is just one of many amazing works.
4.5/5 stars
TÁR (2022) dir. Todd Field
“You want to dance the masque, you must service the composer. You have to sublimate yourself, your ego, and, yes, your identity. You must, in fact, stand in front of the public and God and obliterate yourself.”
Set in the international world of Western classical music, the film centers on Lydia Tár, widely considered one of the greatest living composer-conductors of her time. As Tár begins rehearsals for a career-defining symphony, the consequences of her past choices begin to echo in the present. Starring Cate Blanchett, the psychological drama explores the sometimes questionable, manipulative, and obsessive actions of a wife and mother to succeed in the notoriously male-dominated fields of composing and conducting.
4/5 stars
Rosemary’s Baby (1968) dir. Roman Polanski
“Pain, begone, I will have no more of thee!”
The iconic, the timeless, the psychological horror-thriller that I am probably the last person in the world to see. Rosemary’s Baby chronicles the move of Rosemary and husband Guy Woodhouse into their new apartment building in New York. The Woodhouse’s strike up an unlikely friendship with their old, nosy, and sometimes-too-persistent neighbors who wear strange-smelling necklaces and drink strange-smelling medicines. When Rosemary learns she’s pregnant, it’s a dream come true for the expecting mother, but as strange occurrences begin happening surrounding the pregnancy, dark truths are revealed about Rosemary’s new child. Polanski’s critically acclaimed examination of motherhood, begging the question: how far would you go for your child?
3.5/5 stars
(I wanted to make a quick note that, as I wrote this, I realized none of these directors were women. Similarly, when I went through my recently watched movies, a lot of the movies were made by men. I really want to make a conscious effort to watch more media by women, so if there are any lesser known female directors that you enjoy, I would really appreciate any recommendations!)
video essays
When a Daughter’s Greatest Fear is Becoming Like Her Mother
An amazing (and emotional) analysis of the mother-daughter relationship and the universal experiences of these women that transcends time and culture (and multi-verse). Through Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022), Lady Bird (2017), Brave (2012), and The Joy Luck Club (1993), this video explores what they believe to be the three foundational pillars of the strained mother-daughter complex: being reflections and extensions, patriarchal influence, and generational trauma.
when mother is not “mothering”: the devaluation of motherhood
A critique of the current culture surrounding the scrutiny and devaluation of mothers and their physical, emotional, and psychological investment into their children. With the rise of TikTok “momfluencers” and the never-ending comments of online strangers who believe they know better on how to raise someone else’s children, an examination of feminism (past and present) along with our unrealistic expectations of mothers must be done in order to dismantle the ways we unknowingly support patriarchal ideals.
Is Our Pursuit of Beauty Making Us Lonelier?
From nighttime skincare routines whose number of steps seems to be perpetually growing and the ages of the “women” who do these routines perpetually decreasing, is our pursuit of this unattainable ideal separating us from each other? A discussion on dangerous diet culture, our obsession with removing all signs of life from our bodies, over-consumption, and how these all contribute to our growing loneliness in friendships, relationships, and even a separation from ourselves.
I also wanted to link some of my favorite, what I call, “girls being girls” vlogs that I’ve seen this week. I just love women showing little glimpses of their everyday, mundane lives and I wanted to share with you!
my body is of rag, bones and and fruit flies // winter vlog
typewriters, art, and books worth reading
Prairie Winter Diaries: self care nights, deep cleaning and talking books
getting out a rut vlog | lots of knitting, writing my first pattern, and journaling
music
How Could You Love Me Big Joanie
As the World Turns Jessica Pratt
Modern Girl Sleater-Kinney
August 10 Julie Doiron
December Scoutmaster
Bells Ring Mazzy Star
Cradle Adrianne Lenker
So Long Monkey Boy Wishyunu
Miss World Hole
Worth It Haley Heynderickx
Love Song Vashti Bunyan
Résiste France Gall
check out my other media gardens!:
Thank you so so much for reading! Any likes, comments, or restacks are greatly appreciated! I always love seeing people’s comments or discussions on any of the media I post, so don’t be afraid to comment anything! See you soon <3
by no means a lesser known director, but celine sciamma is incredible! i think her movie ‘petite maman’ would really fit with this collection
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